I finally found my voice! I now have positive self-talk that is louder than the negative. My positive self-talk is now outweighing the negative. It has taken over 40 years for me to get here and some years of recovery. It has also been a process of taking healthy risks.
Growing up I heard so many negative, degrading things from family and "friends" about my body, my talents, my looks. "You're so bony, your neck is too long, your chin is too long, you can't sing, just to name a few." So, I adopted these as my own.
These things that I heard growing up became part of my self-talk and therefore became my belief system about who I thought I was. So, I needed recovery not only from the past sexual abuse, rape & codependency, but also from those voices of the past that became part of me. Those voices were never true, but because I heard them from those closest to me I believed that they were. Growing up those voices affected my growth, ambition, development, confidence, self-worth and my self-esteem.
I avoided singing solos because I lacked confidence due to believing what I heard about my singing. Now I can't sing enough solos! I now understand that singing is the gift that God gave me and I need to share this gift with others. He gave me this voice and to not use it, appreciate it, or even to compare it to others is disrespectful to God.
Today, I am more confident than ever and no longer seek to find my validation in others or in the words of others. I now realize that others saw the greatness that God put in me and they probably just couldn't handle it.
I edify myself through positive self-talk. How about you? Whose voices are you listening to, your own positive self-talk or the negative voices that you heard growing up? If it's the latter you can change it starting today. Don't allow those voices to stifle the greatness that God put in you.
