"He Says Come as You Are."

"He says come as you are."  This is a common phrase that you hear people say when referring to going to church.  They are often talking about attire.  The funny thing is this phrase is no where to be found in the Bible.

Although, God invites us using the word "come" more than 2,000 times in the Bible.  So, God is definitely inviting us to come to Him, not just to come to church.  He also does want us to come as we are.  The real us, the hot jacked up mess, us.   Coming as we are has nothing to do with our attire, because God is more concerned with what's on the inside than the outside.  He looks into our hearts. John 4:24 say, "God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.

We aren't truly worshiping Him if we are pretending to be something that we are not.  This may be one of the reasons many people are so turned off by professed, church going Christians.  So many of them are in denial and put on a mask daily before they leave the house.  I know because I was one of them until I found a recovery program.  I put on a mask to hide the shame and guilt of my past, the pain I felt in the unhealthy marriage, and so many other things.  In the picture above of me and my former husband, I was wearing a mask. You would never have know that we argued the night before this picture was taken and just minutes before it was taken.  I was a pro at putting on that mask, but this isn't what God wants for any of us.

So....
if you are an alcoholic, come anyway
if you are a drug addict, come anyway
if you are an over eater, come anyway
if you are promiscuous, come anyway
if you are addicted to pornography, come anyway
if you are controlling, come anyway
if you have been raped, come anyway
if you have been sexually abused or molested, come anyway
if you abuse others, come anyway
if you have murdered others literally or with your tongue (gossip), come anyway
if you are jealous or envious of others, come anyway
if your are manipulative, come anyway
if you are passive aggressive, come anyway
if you don't trust, come anyway
if you are an enabler, come anyway
if you are codependent, come anyway
if you have love & relationship addiction, come anyway
if you are still clubbing, come anyway
if you are a sex addict, come anyway
If you put on a mask to hide hurt, shame, guilt, come anyway

Whatever your issue is only God can fix it.  We tend to think, "Oh, I will come to Him after I finish sowing my wild oats or I will come to him when I get myself together."  No, you can't get yourself together, none of us can, only He can do that for you.  Jesus, said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

So, just simply come to Him.  He has been inviting you.  It will be the best decision you'll ever make in your life.

#Cleancupinsideandout

Are You Owning Your Own Feelings?

Let's face it ladies, we are the more emotional counterpart.  We sometimes find it hard to even know why we are feeling emotional.  Often we don't even know how we are feeling.  

There are even times when we make decisions based on someone else's feelings.  Do you realize that this is crossing over the other person's emotional boundaries by taking responsibility for their feelings?  We can do this when we make a decision based on how they would or how we perceive that they would feel even though we may not want to make the decision.  This is also not taking responsibility for our own feelings which can cause us feelings of resentment.  This also may affect our ability to live correctly and freely because we are not doing whatever it is based on our own feelings, but on the feelings of others.   

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, our feelings whether good or bad are out property and they fall within our boundaries.  If we feel responsible for other people's feelings, we can no longer make decisions based on what is right.  Taking responsibility for other people's feelings often causes us to disobey God.  

This is not to say that we should not be sensitive to other people's feelings about our choices.  Being sensitive to other people's feelings about our choices and taking responsibility for how they feel about our choices are two entirely different things.  

For example, if my mother wants me to come home to Baltimore for Thanksgiving and I really want to stay in Richmond for the holiday, but I decide to go to Baltimore because I don't want my mother to feel disappointed or unhappy with me then I have made a choice based on how my mother would feel and not how I feel.  This isn't taking responsibility for my feelings, but instead for the feelings of my mother.  Further, if I tell my mother that I want to stay in Richmond and she crying and feeling sad and every time I talk to her she makes a comment about my staying in Richmond for Thanksgiving then she is attempting to control me with her feelings and then I choose to go to Baltimore again I am still taking responsibility for my mother's feelings.  If we are dealing with mature people then they will process their own feelings, but if they aren't mature then they will blame us for their feelings or try to control us with them.  Regardless, their feelings are not our responsibility.  The responsibility of dealing with feelings lies with the one having them.

If we take responsibility for our feelings we can use them to:

• solve problems
• make our relationships better
• let go of grudges
• live a life of freedom
• practice good boundary systems for ourselves & others
• feel happier

If you struggle in the area of feelings, here are some great books:

Changes That Heal, by Dr. Henry Cloud

Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Living Beyond Your Feelings, by Joyce Meyer